Who hasn’t beached their jet ski after leaving your private yacht party to see a few buddies on the beach…
My boy Dan Blitz found out the hard way that when you park on the sand for too long sometimes the waves are gone… Luckily Dan is a muscle man and can just power lift that ski with his massive chest and arms! Wait… Nevermind.
The guy who posted the Instagram video is one of the funniest guys on the internet. I think he made up this huge long story as a joke but the video of Dan B is a classic by itself:
posting this just so u know not every day me and my best bud @danbilzerian have together is perfect. we took dan’s jetski out this morning to do what we call a “Malibu Fishing Trip”- its where we launch dan’s jetski in malibu then ride all the way down to the dockside Hooters near the port of long beach (long way i know but were going fast as shit obviously) once we get to hooters, dan does a ton of donuts and flexes until a bunch of the waitresses run out and try swimming towards dan lmao! then dan calls a couple uber XL’s to take the hooters waitresses back to his place and we try to race the ubers back to malibu hahaha. once we get to dan’s crib you know whats going down (sex, lots of it, dan banging the ‘catch of the day’ lmfao) but anywho, we got to malibu and dan started having some trouble launching the jetski, total bummer. I tried to help but he got super agitated. hes been taking alex jones’ supplements and i think they’ve been making him a little on edge. He told me basically to go wait up here at Nobu until he gets it launched so here i am sucking down a couple mai tai’s feeling a little dejected tbh. just posting this for anyone who thinks dan never struggles- i know it all looks like fun and games but dan had to overcome tons of obstacles just like this to get to where he is. hopefully he gets it in the water soon so we can do some ‘fishing’
Here is the video:
Dan doesn’t seem too worried about it. Even though the top comments are all trolling him: Damn dan, did you ever get your water ski back in the water? Or are you still stuck on shore?
UPDATE: Jack is still trolling Dan: