I have had the luxury of living a pretty safe for work-life after reading some of these peoples situations. The closest thing I have come across was a dude using his phone to try and take dirty pics of our office assistant. He got caught of course.

 

A Reddit user asked: “What’s the most NSFW thing you’ve experienced in a professional situation?”

 

1. Work in the NICU. Walked in on a mom and dad snorting mom’s pain pills off the medical cart. Go figure their child was also born addicted to methadone. Immediate reporting done.

 

2. I worked at a restaurant and one of the hostesses would talk about having anal beads in while working and how she came when she walked around the restaurant.

 

3. Walked in on two people having sex in the break room. They claimed they hated each other and they ended up together

 

 

 

 

4. Owner’s son at a computer repair shop would use the test bench to look up stupid shit. He got the test bench infected with viruses while looking at cat porn. No people…. Just cats…. Having sex. At least he was laughing uncontrollably at it instead of furiously masturbating to it.

 

5. There was a guy and a girl, not in a relationship, that used to regularly go into the sick bay around lunchtime for 10-20mins. She was a bit loud. Everyone nearby knew when they were in session

 

6. I was on call at the hospital one night during my residency. I get called at about 3 am for a disturbance in a patient’s room. I walk down the hall and hear some screaming and a bunch of nurses standing outside this patient’s room. As I get to the door I see the patient standing in the corner, covered in her own poop, legs bent and bend up her gown. This woman was pulling out poop from her butt and throwing it at nurses and whoever tried to get near her. I “nope’d” the hell out of there. She eventually ran out of poop and I have a phone order for some meds to put her down. I felt bad for the housekeeping crew that night. They were up to their elbows in poop.

 

 

 

 

7. I worked with a woman who claimed she could give herself an orgasm using only her mind. On two occassions, I saw her demonstrate this. Of course, she could have been lying, but that is a weird thing to lie about. She claimed that the more people were watching, the easier it was for her. She seemed pretty convincing.

 

8. In Brazil, we have this Whatsapp joke where they put some random video with the audio of Alexis Texas moaning very loud. Once I was on a kinda serious meeting and my boss got caught in one of those jokes. Needless to say that everyone laughed and took a 5 minute break before resuming the meeting.

 

9. Used to work in a porn store. Had to kick someone out for peeing on the floor in a viewing booth.

 

10. I was the “Spot Kid” at a car dealership when I was 18. Moved cars around on the lot, when we got a “spot”, I’d clean it. spot was one of the salesman sold a car.

 

I’d also clean up trade-ins and some other vehicles when i got a chance.

 

We took in one of those big ass conversion vans on a trade. It was left in the back lot. On most slow nights, I’d grab one of the trades that was going to go back out on the lot and clean it. I was putting off cleaning this van for a while. It’s a big ass can and it would take hours. So when I finally decide to clean it, I grab the keys and head to the back of the lot.

 

Open the door, there’s two of the male salesman going at it on the shitty pullout bed. While the female sales manager watched from one of the swiveling captains chairs. There was a shit ton of coke involved. I shut the door and slowly backed away.

 

Never cleaned that van. The service manager asked why i hadn’t already. Told him that.. let’s say “Jan”, said I didn’t have to, and to ask her.

 

Few days later it gets loaded up and sent to auction. Nothing was mentioned for a few days about what I saw, but it was weird in the sales office when I was around.

 

Few days later 9/11 happened and all that was forgotten.

 

11. Coworker’s boyfriend dropped her off at work and the two of them asked me if he could experience giving a guy a blowjob and offered to give me one as I was the only bisexual guy they knew.

 

12. I was 50-something working in a middle school as the network/computer tech and got a blow job from a 30-something social studies teacher in her room, at her desk, during one of her planning periods.

 

 

 

 

13. I worked at a KFC. We had a nasty ex stripper that worked there and a horny manager. She wanted to go home early so they agreed that she could if he got to finger pop her asshole. They did it right behind the chicken warming case. I quit about a week later.

 

The last one is long and so so wrong:

 

Here goes. Worked in IT my whole life, about 12 years ago the director at the place I worked had a laptop that had failed. This was I think Windows Media Center edition days. Anyways, I get it working again and he had asked me to copy everything from the my docs folder to a portable hard drive as he was going to give the laptop to his son.

 

Well after I get it working I fire it up and go to my docs and notice there isn’t enough room on the drive to copy everything. So I click my pictures and thumbnails flood the screen.

 

Some of the craziest bondage pics I have ever seen. He was taking them (only knew this do to a few where there was a mirror). Our HR director from another state was in one of them, very clearly in the hotel we used while traveling to that state. She was tied up, bound, and had nipple clams on attached to various pieces of furniture.

 

It was crazy. This dude had pics of like 50 different women in there some from work.

 

So I lend him my own portable drive and copy over things like he asked.

 

He ended up “resigning” later as my PC Tech went to help him with a PC problem, the director got up to get a snack and as soon as my tech sat down an instant message appeared with a middle aged woman showing her ta-ta’s with some clothes pins on them and a message that said “what do you think”….

 

That wasn’t even why he got fired though, completely different reasons and it was like 2 years later. It was a deal where he had scammed the company for a TON of money.

 

So president calls me up and tells me to look through his emails as they are missing items, money, all kinds of stuff and they want me to try to filter through it.

 

The very first damn email was from his current girlfriend begging him to not break up with her, that she was starting to use the clamps on her nips and getting use to it, and that she’d be a good girl and start waking him up with a BJ like he had asked.

 

This dood was and overweight ugly mofo. No clue how he got with all these chicks… but damn….

 

My 2nd place story goes to my first place of employment, so we are back further now…..

 

Get a call that nothing is printing, turns out the file/print server is out of space. This is a company that is based out of Japan. So run treesize and discover that one user’s private drive has a SHIT load of japanese character folders that are large. So I open the first one and it’s all pictures of the same japanese naked girl. Next folder, different girl, etc etc.

 

This guy had downloaded something like 20GB of porn and taken time to label and sort it very detailed into separate folders. This was impressive because I think at the time we had a 128k internet connection, he had to have been dedicated.

 

Because he was from corporate they literally called a meeting with me/him/big boss. He comes in, they have me explain the problem and that we need him to delete them NOW so we have space for print jobs. He instead asks if he can bring in his CD burner and copy them off. THEY LET HIM. AND ASK ME TO FIND OTHER STUFF TO DELETE so the business can function…… I still can’t believe it…..